Burning fast
I have work piling up to my armpits. Sigh. Printmaking is killing me- now subjects continued from last term seem to be raising the crossbar, lessons are not about learning new things. Rather, it is about the grades, and feeling inadequate about your standard of work.
I am sorry for being irate with Jas when you asked about job… sorry for my outbursts. Hugs. I promise to buy new bra. HAHAH.
I feel terrible our friendship, me and him, is ripped beyond recognition. How come he can laugh like before? How come it seems like the only thing that seemed to change is I lost, grieved while he seems fine, better, in fact.
School has dulled, our clique of 10 people has dwindled down. Laughs are muted, frowns and quiet moments are more evident. I hope things get better.
I miss my baby, I wished he made more effort. I felt pissed off as I thought of the calling card I had bought. It’s $10, $10 can buy me a pack of cigs, can buy me 2 starbucks mocha, a top, a bottom, top up my card. ..
It seems everyday I try to find joy, but it steps in for a fleeting moment, and then, it’s gone, like vapour that evaporates… and it’s gone.
