Springbonjo

Heard a rocking song on the radio. Although I loved the music, the meaning of the song put me off. Basically about cheating. How come there are more and more songs about infidelity? I certainly don’t want my boyfriend if I do have any (stop laughing ) to sing/dedicate this to me one day when I think I love him (which I don’t ever think I want to) .

I love the lead’s voice, the song. Pity the message sucks. Why can’t they make it a love song? Unrequited love… not infidelity.

Cold rainy days these days.

Omg, I can’t believe I am likely to go shooting with my ex. EX- how weird. I missed him. I bet it would be awkward, but bitter sweet to see him again. No love, just a blind walk through impulses. I hope I didn’t hurt him.

*

Lips Of An Angel lyrics
By Hinder

Honey why are you calling me so late
It’s kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can’t be too loud
Well, my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It’s funny that you’re calling me tonight
And yes I’ve dreamt of you too
And does he know you’re talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don’t think she has a clue
Well my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those wordsa it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(And I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it so hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why are you calling me so late

Once upon a time, there was a stick who loved going around dipping itself in shit. Therefore, it was a dipshit. Now Dipshit loved dipping itself in other people’s shit and going around exclaiming: “OMG! THIS SHIT CAME FROM XYZ’S SHIT! Look how it stinks! Doesn’t XYZ stink?? OMG XYZ SUCKS! XYZ is (insert random insult).”

Clueless Dipshit didn’t know it was the source of shit and extreme fetor, because it was too busy declaring how other people’s bowels stink.

Everybody has bowels you know, I can understand if you’re constipated and that’s why you dip yourself in people’s shit out of sheer envy and is an angry insecure soul…but dipping yourself in them and claiming they stink… well, look who’s the biggest stench of all eh?

You are supposedly to be different, yet same. But you have proved yourself incapable. I could lash out and be no more than you, but why stoop to your level?

Disappointed you are like this, but hey, at least I found out now. You always bad mouth people… what about yourself? Are you that perfect? Is doing such things your way of expressing yourself?

I have no comments. You can go ahead living your life the way you are.

Yes, you are wonderful and perfect. What a specimen you are you know, queen of bitch.

The month of September would be hectic, cans of redbull would be consumed, daily. Sleep would occasionally come, but chances of a heavy one is extremely little.

The daily elements would be oncoming Projects, tutoring, work. That leaves about an average of 4 hours of sleep a day. Have a nice day.

*

Teh tarik boy and the whole coffeeshop asked for my number for him. Man. Still it’s damn cute la.

*

I love how the way I walk home and think, my life is a fulfilling one. I love how I know I didn’t waste my day. A meaningful day, school, a little bit of precious chill out time with my friends with a skinny mocha to warm me up on a rainy cold day, tutoring, hang out and dinner with Jess- singing our hearts out while walking in the cold lovely evening, a yummy meal of masala dhosai which really stuffed me cuz I was full after a few bites and I bloody hate to waste food so I finished the whole thing, and teh tarik.

Why can’t you see it too?

Bridge, originally uploaded by springbonjo.

Reach, originally uploaded by springbonjo.

I love the colours of this photo.

, originally uploaded by springbonjo.

City landscape, originally uploaded by springbonjo.

Spotlight, originally uploaded by springbonjo.

Chinatown alley, originally uploaded by springbonjo.

Shophouse, originally uploaded by springbonjo.

one of whom I regard close to my heart and important, said I’ve changed. Just because I inhale Nicotine more, means I have changed. Just because I have tuned out nonsense and learned not to take things to heart which I did a year ago and got into depression and was the biggest pessimistic bitch ever in my life, and now I am rather optimistic, a word I swore is not applicable to me at least half a year ago means, tada, not the old becca but a CHANGED one.

Maybe I should have mentioned the fact I am a Christian. Because if I smoke and it is enough for you to think I have changed, then being a Christian meant I am more different and have, that’s right, CHANGED.

I am hurt to think, you think I am this “grown up” person with an escaptist attitude. These past days were nice, because it was almost like when we were close.

I am too exhausted to chase after you. I hope you would wake up and see things. That my life is finally going somewhere, my dreams are near. That it is comfortable, not the best, but I can smile, without feeling rotten and knowing I wouldn’t cry in the dark because I hated myself and the world and wanted to die everyday.

*

Today I missed school because I couldn’t wake up on time. In my dreams I had a husband whom I was in his lap, and he held me while I lied on his shoulder. But I knew I didn’t love him, he didn’t gaze at me with adoring eyes, but the aloofness macho man did. My heart panged, because it wasn’t love, but security that drove me in his arms.

Waking up, and knowing, it’s still hollow. I miss you so much, everyday.

*

Jess and I have been having rendezvous nightly, almost for the past weeks. And we kept going to the teh tarik place, where there is a glass panel behond the cashier, with a golden haired youth doing the dishes who would stare at us when we bought our drinks.

Today the boy smiled and waved at me. Haha. And asked for my number. So funny. A smile on my face, because his candidness is adorable.

No I am not dating him or gave him my number, but it’s adorable he gestured to his co worker I smiled at him when he waved so happily.

2 iced teh tarik, a half eaten red bean bun and the best sister I ever have. Nope, not at the teh tarik place.

Things, I hope, are falling back into place.

What burns bright and fast extinguishes as such, pity the fool who sits and mourns, for something that ignites so fast wouldn’t last.

They came as quick as they left.

Pangs of melancholy hit me, whimsical I am
Memories that hurt;
A friend who assures they are better than none.

I saw your smile today-
It’s been a long time since I saw it, at me.

It wasn’t specially for me, but it was enough to brighten my stressed, burnt out, exhausted

Soul.

I’ve had enough.

I missed you, but it seems.

Burning quickly
Things that are.
Never, ever last.

*

Money is not happiness.

No smile on the protagonist face-
Agony occupies the space.

Previous tenant was sunshine happy
Clouds do come, rain and storms but a rainbow guranteed.

No matter how many storms I weathered through,
soaking wet,
I am,

Cold.

*

There are so many things I want to say;
But letters to words, from thoughts when said
Sign an invisible confirmation,
Statements are sealed.

The ink has dried,
Documents submitted.

The Judge has made her decision.
the court in rise of the execution.

The verdict is plain to see,
Audience nay gasps because it’s clear.

The condemned, the victim, the guilty.

Who is to blame, who is to say?
What if there was a conspiracy?

The thud of the wooden hammer,
the wigs
the drapes.

Honour, integrity-

Are they in stone because they are for here,
or frozen, forgotten,
for little birds to peer.

*

I want to run, maybe what you said it’s true-
Escapism, I do not deny my dreams
Far fetched but ease my soul.

It’s getting harder and harder each breath I take.

The music pricks my ear
The scenery an eye sore
The smiles are nothing but plastered on
The touch are with malicious intent or merely accidental
The smells so repugnant it makes you sick
A rose so ugly it might as well be fake.

The ciggarette is your friend you think
The fragipani nothing but more than what is was
The desired object doesn’t fit
The foes in victory while the nemesis in wake

The books comfort a moment
Nothing but a paper reeking of superficiality.

The paint distressed and stretches your patience
The time flies by when you’re in need of a miracle rescue operation.

The bills too fast they are spent.
Your stomach growls too often for a coverted longing

You seek comfort in the arms
You realise too late it is nothing but a lump.

It didn’t stay there for you
You’re too impulsive, it’s true.

Everything you want is out of reach-

Tell me, how not to despair when even the smallest thing breaks you down.

And so ends this prose-

I only hope it doesn’t last, no one knows.
The exact measure of reality,
the fiction of originality.

Hope doesn’t come
Everything is fading.

It doesn’t last.

Okay here’s a last post before I ought to get to work- meaning I have to select my photos for tomorrow’s lesson.

A phone call to my lil bro, teh tarik, red bean bun, Jess, cigs, money.

Yays.

I love teh tarik from the coffeeshop near my house, from a halal coffeeshop.

TIRED TIRED TIRED

Still have tons of stuff to do-

You all mean alot to me.

Bloody hell, some bitch stepped on my flip flops, and it is held together by sticky tape. Blah.

Hope tomorrow is a rocking day.

Photoshoot today. Photoshoots always make my day- though today’s was probably a little tinge of sadness with fatigue. I miss… him.

Happy anyway, caught up with JASMINE AR!

Bloody hell I am broke, with $0 on me. I hate being poor. Spent on my money on fucking batteries. I now realised how “flat” my pictures are after getting honest feedback and self evaluation by comparing with a pro pics. SIGH.

No composition at all.

*

Am so hungry now, but it’s 3.30am, and I can’t eat because I will get fat.

Pluto is no longer a planet… kinda sad, like demoted. But somehow you start to doubt things, like rock solid facts, the sun rises from the east and crap- heck maybe everything is wrong!

Ok I got to go to bed. Have to work on a Sunday- sigh. Why does it seem I work my ass off and am still too broke?