Springbonjo

I wish we’re talking on the phone. Today a figure walked past the shop and my heart skipped a beat- I though it was you. But of course not.

I wish you’re all a constant presence in my life… instead of once a week if I’m lucky, twice a month we’re so accommodating, but really in reality, once a month or two because we’re so busy with tom dick and harry in our lives and saving the world, while inventing new boobies for implants.

Then when I snapped and broke down and had some crisis because we all only can contain so much shit because we fucking need to PISS AND SHIT MOTHERFUCKERS, SOONER OR LATER DUH, and you all knew, you all were like, OMG ABCDEFGH I’M SO SORRY I WASN’T THERE FOR YOU! Guilty guilty Why didn’t you tell me its so easy when we’re like there for you TOTALLY instead when we all know you’re being so busy with tom dick and harry in our lives and saving the world, while inventing new boobies for implants while being skinny rich successful and attached. Bullshit, aren’t we, for things are rather the same, cept I learnt to keep sane.

Mom started nagging at me for not eating right. Ben and I are stubborn mules- no one can make us do what we don’t want unless we want to. Maybe I just want to blame her when I’m all sick and dying, she accuses me. Haha, mother, don’t give yourself too much credit. You think I’d burden u down when I’m terminally ill? You haven’t known me much. She made out like I’d get malnutrition tomorrow and die immediately. We got into a fight over me taking her supplements- its fucking gelatin, GELATIN WOMAN! Attacks on my vegetarianism- “You think you’re so noble saving them by refusing to eat meat when you can’t save yourself!”

Like, duh. I AM NOBLE. I spare their lives, and buddists say some shit like Saving lives is better then building 7-storey pagoda, Christ said something too la.

Damn it. Somehow some things don’t go in to your stupid numbskulls.

what doesnt kill u, makes u stronger! says:
i still i can remember during my b day u come, my mom ask who is that girl, cause she notice like quite pretty

Poster Child for Positivity (spirit)- That’s me says:
haha! ok, tts really nice

Poster Child for Positivity (spirit)- That’s me says:
i thnk it was too dark, so ur mom din see properly

what doesnt kill u, makes u stronger! says:
cannot be lah, my mom’s pretty sharp, somemore she never see u before, so she paid extra attention lor

Poster Child for Positivity (spirit)- That’s me says:
haha, okay okay.

*

If only you knew how crazy I dieted, during that. I didn’t eat for days. Nostalgic memories.

Work: Got to know my colleagues better- my boss brought his son in today. His son is the quiet shy kind, maybe around 6 or 7 years old bless his chubby cherub cheeked soul, but opened up enough to show me a few cute magic tricks. If I ever find a good husband, I’d want a little boy of my very own, twins or triplets just like Lynnette in Desperate Housewives. Can tell he loves his son alot, they went to MPH for books, and I was just observing how he taught his son to use the computer. How fatherly sweet.

Maternity urges aside.

I bought a really cute smiley bun from Bread Talk for lunch today. Was exploring the places nearby for food- but other than confectionery shops and 7-11, delifrance and long john silvers and a few restaurants, there’s not much food I can choose from.

Learnt cashiering today. My colleague named Xavier taught me that. Xavier also inhaled some gas- man that guy is so gung-ho, he fricking put the hose thing in his mouth to get the liquid out. He also showed me Google-earth and told me he was allergic to tomatoes.

Home with him on the train, it had some black out. If he was the right person I would have fantasised it must have been some sign we are so meant to be, but all I could think of was- MAN A BLACK OUT ON THE TRAIN! Okay, maybe all the lights execpt for two in my CABIN- couldn’t see the rest of the other cabins, and I SO WANA TAKE A PICTURE.

But I’m 18 soon, and I’m supposed to be level headed and stone hearted, so wise so wise.